It begins with gratitude

Yesterday, I saw a cyclist ride blithely through a red light (as so many of them do). When I caught up to him in my car, I rolled down my window, intending to just call out "red means stop!" But what came out was an enraged scream that really took me by surprise. I kind of scared myself with the power of the emotion behind it. I guess I resent unruly cyclists more than I thought!

Just a few minutes later, as I was finally calming down, I heard an interview on CBC with Neil Pasricha, the fellow who wrote The Book of Awesome and its follow-ups, and the website 1000 Awesome things. He's even got an app for that. His "awesome project" reminded me of a similar project that I'd started on my own a few years ago on Facebook, which I had called "A Year of Being Thankful."

Now, I have to admit that my year of being thankful on Facebook didn't last a year. It barely lasted a month, if I recall. I felt bad about that. I have so much to be thankful for in my life. I've been so fortunate. Surely I could take a moment each day to mention one special thing. However, lack of sticktoitiveness aside, I did enjoy it. It made me feel good. One of my friends even took up the habit for a little while. I had started a little 'mini-meme' of two. That was nice.

Those two events -- screaming at the cyclist and hearing the interview with Pasricha -- made me think I really need to let go of some of the rage in my life, and embrace more of the gratitude. I'm 52 years old now, and I'm finding that as I get older more bitterness and discontent is creeping into my personality. I don't like it. I don't want to go back to being the naive, totally accepting, non-critical person I was when I was twenty. Rose-coloured glasses may look sweet as a fashion accessory, but as a personality trait, they don't flatter anyone, especially not middle-aged women.

So, today, I'm resurrecting the Year of Being Thankful. I want to focus more on the good things in my life. Not to ignore the bad, because ignoring (or tolerating) bad things sometimes breeds more bad things. But balance is needed. I will probably continue to scream at cyclists who go through red lights and ride the wrong way on one-way streets. But I will focus more on what I'm grateful for.

And that's how it should be.